Sen. John Fetterman says he “wasn’t able to leave bed” in the aftermath of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate—with the depression he’d experienced during the campaign accelerating after Election Day. “I really scared my kids,” Fetterman told NBC’s Kirsten Welker in an interview Sunday on Meet the Press. “They thought, ‘you won, Dad, why aren’t we enough? Why are you still so sad? Why are you even more sad?’”

Fetterman said the depression—which he believes followed the stroke he suffered and the death of two close friends by suicide—“was awful” and “continued to get more and more intense,” leading him to doubt if he’d be able to travel to Washington for Senate orientation in November. “I’m like, ‘look, I’m going to need some—some to time to—to get better,’ and that’s where I was at.”

Fetterman made news when he admitted himself to Walter Reed Medical Center, beginning what would be a 44-day stay in the hospital. At the end, he felt better, but feared talking about his depression. “When it got released where I was and where it was going, it was – it was a big story,” he said. “And so, I had assumed that that would be the end of my career. And I don’t know what that – what kind of impact that would have on my family or anything, so I – I really didn’t know what would happen at that point.”

Looking back, Fetterman said there were days when he believed he would not survive. “Every day, I felt like there wasn’t any hope sometimes,” he said. “Feeling like there was no hope is what kind of drove me to that place.”

“It’s like having nothing wrong physically, but you can’t get out of bed,” Fetterman said of the depths of depression. “It’s a real thing, and something is wrong with you, but it’s something that needs to be addressed. And if you don’t address it, you run the risk of – of the very dark conversation with yourself. And that you have to promise yourself that you must never, ever, ever harm yourself. And if you’re able to make that promise to yourself, and to your family, and to people that you love, and then that allows you to, “Okay, that’s off, so now I can face the – the depression and some of these other issues,” and you know that you’re able to – to deal with it.

“And that’s why I want people to know that no matter how bad it might look right now, I’m begging you, it’s not that bad. It’s not that bad. And even if you think that’s true, hold on. Just, you’ve got to hold on. And you can’t imagine how much better it can get if you make the investment and the commitment to just hold that line and – and work to get better on that.”