My husband still gets apprehensive when late August comes around. He remembers all too well the anxiety he felt returning to school: Will he make new friends as one of the few Asian Americans in his New Jersey classroom and can he keep his grades up?
I, on the other hand, reveled in back-to-school anticipation: buying new shoes, filling my Hello Kitty pencil case with Little Twin Stars pencils and glue and a rainbow array of highlighters. The school I attended went from first-grade through high school. It was, for the most part, a happy place.
If I stop and think about it, of course, the edges blur and I can think about times when all was not glitter and sunshine. Parents got divorced. Children were mean. Girls hid eating disorders or self-harm behavior.
On Aug. 6, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released data showing a lower percentage of students experiencing persistent sadness or hopelessness, from 42% to 40%. Female students reported a decrease in persistent sadness (57% to 53%) and serious consideration of suicide (from 30% to 27%).
Lisa Pion-Berlin, licensed hypnotherapist and CEO of the nonprofit Parents Anonymous, said the new data highlights what we’re doing right: talking about mental health in an open and accepting manner.
“Research tells us that by addressing, not brushing off, supportive conversation about serious mental health issues is a game changer,” Pion-Berlin said. “Removing the stigma about mental health is key to opening up honest conversations with students amongst themselves, parents and other adults in their life. Seeing hope replace hopelessness if the beginning steps of healing. Focusing on acceptance rather than just awareness puts all of us into a position of loving and supportive friendships and leads people to seek help when they don’t feel judged and blamed.”
Brandon Combs is executive director of Erika’s Lighthouse, an Illinois-based nonprofit that helps schools deal with adolescent depression.
Combs said the decrease could point to students socializing more after the COVID-19 pandemic, improved early intervention now that young people have more eyes on them and more opportunities to seek help, and heightened awareness among families and school officials about mental health.
“School communities, particularly in California, are increasing their formal education for students around mental health literacy and suicide prevention,” Combs said.
When students understand that mental health disorders have real signs and symptoms, if they begin to experience these changes, they know how and where to ask for help, before it becomes too overwhelming and possibly lead to depression or suicidal ideation, according to Katie Conklin, vice president of programs for Erika’s Lighthouse.
Mimosa Jones Tunney, founder and president of the American Emergent Curriculum and The School House in New York, said she would like to see the data collection from the CDC study.
“We’re certainly not doing nearly enough,” she said. “It might mean that since the rock-bottom of COVID, we’ve tipped up a little.”
Jones Tunney said her school has seen academic success and zero mental health challenges by not allowing screen time in the classroom.
“Take screens away or limit them considerably,” she added. “No social media until 16 or older. Put them in schools that value the whole child. This is not a pipe dream. This is essential. Children from 0-12 are imprinting everything around them. They are building their foundation. If we squander that foundation by not making good and sometimes difficult choices when they are young, we set them up for mental health challenges.”
The CDC study did report an increase in the percentage of students who were bullied at school (from 15% to 19%) and students who missed school because of safety concerns (9% to 13%).
In order to help, parents should educate themselves on the basics of mental health concerns, causes and early signs, and feel comfortable speaking with their children about it. Conklin said talking about mental health doesn’t necessarily mean talking about mental illness.
“We all have mental health and we should all be actively working to support it,” she said.
That can mean eating nutritious meals, getting enough sleep and exercise, and finding time for meaningful conversations.
Pion-Berlin advocates paying attention: Tell them you love them every day, watch that their friendships are positive and supportive, monitor screen time and model your behavior. Share your vulnerabilities to humanize life experiences with the recognition that each generation is different.
However, if a child shares they’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, seek help for them immediately.
That’s the message from Pasadena Police Department’s HOPE team and the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, which will hold its annual National Suicide Prevention Walk in Remembrance at 8 a.m. Monday, Sept. 9, at Rose Bowl Lot H, on the south grass field outside of the stadium, 1001 Rose Bowl Drive, Pasadena.
Wendy Burch will emcee and guests include L.A. County Supervisor Kathryn Barger, Pasadena Mayor Victor Gordo and Pasadena Police Chief Gene Harris. Aside from the 5K walk, there will be resource tables, speakers and food trucks.
My mental health homework for this school year is plenty: I still struggle to talk about my own feelings and to share, and to not solve my kids’ problems for them.
My husband checks in with each child but has to learn not to make it sound like an interrogation. We’ve found our best time to connect is as we’re setting up for dinner, and throughout the meal. We catch each other up on stuff and listen and tease and listen some more.
Pion-Berlin has some other simple tips.
“Don’t forget to laugh out loud daily, fake or real, hug for 21 seconds, spend 15 minutes in nature and incorporate meditation and mindfulness for overall well-being. These things are all free and you don’t need an appointment or expensive pills.”
Anissa V. Rivera, columnist, “Mom’s the Word,” Pasadena Star-News, San Gabriel Valley Tribune, Whittier Daily News, Azusa Herald, Glendora Press and West Covina Highlander, San Dimas/La Verne Highlander. Southern California News Group, 181 W. Huntington Drive, Suite 209 Monrovia, CA 91016. 626-497-4869.
