It’s time to change our culture around how we talk about mental health, especially with college students. College has always been a time of intense transition and challenge. But before the last decade or so, folks weren’t so forthcoming about how hard it can be on mental health.

After working for over 20 years as a college mental health counselor, I’m thrilled that one of the silver linings of the pandemic is that we are much more open about discussing mental health issues. But we can take it even further: We can insist that the mental health of our young people is important to us, and we can help them with specific truths, like the following eight, that dislodge our old stigmatized thinking.

1. It is developmentally appropriate to struggle in college.

Most, if not all, students struggle in some way with how to develop a balanced lifestyle that supports their mental health and wellness. Not to mention the struggles of studying, learning, working and the rest of life.

2. A majority of college students experience moderate to severe psychological distress.

Knowing that you aren’t alone can ease the shame or blame. Actual diagnoses of mental illness are real: One in three college students have a diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, over one in four have a diagnosis of depression, and one in 10 have ADHD.

3. College students aren’t already supposed to know wellness skills.

Unfortunately many social-media posts present a perfect picture, leading many students to feel they are behind. The reality is that students are in college to learn, and it’s the perfect time to start the journey of learning about wellness skills.

4. Mental health skills are learnable.

We can all learn and grow. Many students feel “I’m just this way, there’s no way I can learn a different strategy,” but that is false. Though many mental health skills are admittedly a bit of a challenge, they can be learned by all.

5. Effective mental wellness skills will be slightly different for each person.

There is no one perfect way to do self-care. That means we get to be creative. Don’t believe someone who says there is only one right way to do something.

6. Mental health strategies usually take some trial and error.

Often, we have to experiment (and thus accept some failures) to see what works for us. Even though some of these skills sound like they should be easy, they actually turn out to have a lot of nuance to them.

7. It takes practice to get good at something, including healthier behaviors.

We all need to take the long view on trying new wellness strategies with a goal of trying something several times before deciding whether or not it’s helpful. And if a new strategy isn’t a good fit, we need credit for giving it a thorough “try”—and encouragement to try a new strategy.

8. Developing wellness skills requires patience.

We live in an instant society, so we expect instant results, which are impossible when it comes to caring for our mental health. It’s healthier to accept that doing our small self-care behaviors, every day, over time—our whole lives—is what leads to lasting positive results.

As a society, and in our own families, we can encourage college students to value their mental health as much as they value all the other aspects of collegiate life, such as their achievements and outward success. Taking our mental health seriously is, in fact, what supports everything else.

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