The therapist opened up space and time for the client with non-verbal expressions of gentle encouragement followed by a statement: “Take some time and explore that inside.”
The client closed their eyes and connected with their internal experience: the hot tingling of leftover anger in their chest and limbs, the plush couch and an awareness of safety seeming to radiate toward them from the therapist. Then, images started to appear.
Before becoming angry a moment prior and launching into a familiar tirade, they had started relaying a dream to their therapist. They seemed to re-enter that dream now.
They wound through a labyrinth of tall stone walls. Their heart rate accelerated, and an anxious warmth filled their body—which way?
They swallowed hard, took a deep breath. They noticed tension in their shoulders. Part of them wanted to open their eyes and not be back in this dream. And yet, they wanted to figure it out and move forward in their life.
They decided to stay as long as they could. They chose a path.
The therapist said, with a calm and loving voice, “There you go. I’m here if you need me. Take your time. Explore.”
After ten minutes of anxious searching, with periodic gentle encouragement and mirroring from the therapist, the client’s sensations changed to an excitement and a sense of power. They paused in the maze, looked up at a beautiful moonlit sky of bright stars.
“Oh, my. Nobody is actually chasing me.”
“Interesting. Can you expand on that?”
“I’m chasing myself, inside my gut. It’s weird. What if I let myself catch up with me?”
“Hmm. Yes.”
Silence for several minutes. Tears. More silence. They knew that they didn’t need to tell the therapist what they saw next.
They sit up straight and lean forward. They find their way out of the maze and into a bright, sunny field populated by people they love. They open their eyes, smiling, tears coming.
“Wow,” they say.
We Sometimes Emphasize Productivity Over Creative Daydreaming
Modern society values focus on external tasks, cognitive analysis of experience, alertness, steady eye contact, control. Of course, we all need to “get things done.” Many Americans report gaining some meaning from their work, and yet some report a “productivity anxiety” as well (Pew Research Center, 2020; Robinson, 2024).
We refer to “uncomfortable silences” when we are not safe behind our wall of words. We talk at each other. We may think when someone breaks eye contact that they are lying or weak, when in reality they may be searching deeper within themselves for the truth. We often talk about topics, not the unspoken (and often more meaningful) processes going on in our bodies, minds, and emotions.
We sometimes compete with others for who talks more and who does more. Workplaces may encourage mundane talking (meetings) and behavioral productivity. Creative planning, playful imagination, fantasizing, deep introspection, and daydreaming are often not given space. We see “I’m a doer” on the job application cover letter, not “I’m a daydreamer.”
Overly structured environments that discourage daydreaming may stifle creativity and innovation (Zedelius & Schooler, 2015).
The Benefits and Dangers of Daydreaming
According to McMillan et al (2013), the pioneering scholar in the realm of daydreaming research, Jerome L. Singer, Ph.D., explored three styles of daydreaming. The perhaps most desirable style is referred to as “positive constructive daydreaming” (PCD). This is “characterized by playful, wishful imagery, and planful, creative thought” (McMillan et al. 2013, p. 1).
PCD links to improved compassion, creativity, social skills, problem-solving, self-awareness, management of long-term goals, future planning, ability to reason morally and imagine another’s point of view, making sense of emotion, and taking a break from external task demands. PCD can reduce boredom and increase pleasure and life satisfaction.
Is daydreaming an important tool to overcome our crisis of a lack of compassion, empathy, deep presence, and ability to connect with “the other”? When we face another human with different views, or someone we find boring or distasteful, the ability to search within ourselves and morally imagine their point of view is an important skill for our survival as a society. Depth-oriented therapy with a highly present therapist who knows how to encourage this inner search may help us cultivate the skill of PCD, especially with a therapist who is aware of the research on the positive effects of daydreaming.
McMillan et al (2013), however, also discuss the potential negative side of daydreaming, such as guilty rumination or struggling to control our attention. Many avoid daydreaming because they associate drifting thoughts with painful self-criticism, scattered attention, traumatic memories, or self-harm tendencies. Daydreaming is not always safe.
The Power of Creative Choice
Yet according to Kaufman and Gregoire (2015), PCD can be a creative choice, one that involves focus.
Think of an artist visualizing the entire work of art before starting painting, anticipating problems based on past experiences, seeing themselves solve those problems, and stoking the flame of inspiration. Or, think of a family member daydreaming into the moral reasoning of that stubborn uncle with different political views, enhancing their own compassion and understanding in the process.
