There are several “talks” that parents must eventually have with their children, and two of the most important—and most daunting—are discussions about mental health and death. These conversations are crucial and must happen sooner or later, with sooner typically being the better option. However, finding the right words or the right moment to initiate these conversations with a child can feel overwhelming.
Thankfully, Disney sometimes makes this task easier. With their childlike wonder and beloved characters, Disney movies can help parents break the ice and start meaningful conversations about these tricky topics. By incorporating these films into a family movie night, research shows that parents can open the door to discussions that help children feel more empowered over their emotions and better understand delicate parts of life.
1. “Turning Red” (2022)
Discussing mental health with young children can be challenging for parents. Research shows that children only start developing the skills to manage their emotions effectively during preschool years and may not concretely understand what emotional regulation entails.
However, “Turning Red” provides an excellent opportunity to discuss mental health with children. Its focus on strong emotions and their effects creates a relatable and visually engaging metaphor for the intense emotions that children often feel but struggle to express.
To turn a movie night into an important conversation about mental health, parents can ask their children about their feelings and thoughts while watching:
- What are some situations in the movie where Mei’s emotions caused her to transform?
- How did Mei’s friends and family help her when she was feeling overwhelmed?
- Can you think of a time when you felt like Mei, with big emotions that seemed to take over?
Based on your child’s answers to these questions, you can guide the conversation toward understanding how “big emotions” can sometimes feel overwhelming. You can explain that these emotions can fill our whole body, making it seem like they have nowhere to go. Sometimes, we might not even understand what these emotions are—only that they are incredibly strong and hard to manage. You can then provide practical advice on how they can work on describing, naming, and working through these big and strong emotions—helping them to be active agents in protecting their mental health:
- Describing emotions: Encourage them to talk about how they feel physically when they experience big emotions. Help them notice and describe physical sensations, as this awareness can help children become more attuned to their bodies and better recognize when they’re starting to feel overwhelmed.
- Naming emotions: Assist them in identifying and naming their emotions. Use a feelings chart or a list of emotion words to expand their vocabulary beyond just “happy” or “sad.” When children can accurately name their emotions, it can make these feelings seem less mysterious and more manageable.
- Working through emotions: Show them how to take deep, slow breaths to calm their body and mind, or explain how counting slowly to 10 can give them a moment to pause and gain control over their feelings. Lastly, remind them that they can always find a quiet place where they can relax and collect their thoughts when they feel overwhelmed.
2. “Coco” (2017)
Death, dying and grief are profound topics—ones that even adults struggle to talk about or understand. Researchers have long explained how this can be even more difficult for children, who are still coming to terms with what it means to be human and the realities of life and loss.
Luckily, “Coco” provides an ideal opportunity to educate children about death. Its focus on family, remembrance, and honoring those who have passed away offers a wholesome way to approach these profound topics.
To initiate the conversation, you can start by asking your child about their feelings and thoughts while watching Coco:
- How did the characters in the Land of the Dead feel about being remembered by their loved ones?
- Can you think of a time when you felt sad because someone you loved was no longer around?
- What did Miguel do to honor his great-grandfather and keep his memory alive?
From here, you can guide the conversation toward understanding how death is a confusing and sad part of life, but one that we should not be scared to think or talk about. You can explain that it is natural to feel a mix of emotions when someone we love passes away and that it is OK to talk about those feelings. Thereafter, you can guide your child to understand that—even though it’s hard to comprehend why people are suddenly “gone”—they’ll never truly be gone if we always remember them:
- Creating memories: Encourage children to talk about their favorite memories with the person who has passed away. This can be done through storytelling, looking at photos, or creating a memory box filled with items that remind them of their loved one. This helps keep the person’s memory alive in a tangible way.
- Honoring traditions: Explain the importance of traditions and rituals, like those depicted in “Coco.” Participating in activities such as lighting candles, visiting gravesites, or celebrating special holidays dedicated to remembrance can provide comfort and a sense of connection to lost loved ones.
- Viewing the afterlife positively: Reinforce the idea that, just like in “Coco,” the “Land of the Dead” is depicted as a beautiful and joyous place. Explain that while it is natural to feel sad when someone we love dies, we can also find comfort in thinking of them as being in a happy and peaceful place.
By using Disney as a springboard, parents can create a safe and fun space for children to discuss their feelings, which studies show to be an important aspect in making a child feel emotionally safe. With something as simple as a movie night, parents can guide their children gently through important life lessons—ensuring they don’t have to come to terms with the harsh realities of life on their own, or too late.
A version of this post also appears on Forbes.com.
